da da da. i weigh so fucking much now... its disgusting. yesterday i only threw up once but i binged twice *shame*. day before that i purged 4 times. i had a burn-thing on the side of my mouth from it, it hurt a lot. i really need to eeat a lot less. and stop with all this binging so i can stop purging. current weight: almost 110 i think. just a couple days ago i was like 115. but i was trying to stop purging. so i didnt. and i got fat in a couple days. goal weight: 105 for now, ultimately 95 or lower. but its like XC, u wanna make it to the end so u tell urself to make it to that tree. and then that trash can. and so on. i hate my body. the guy i like (and have liked since... about the beginning of october last year) has such a freakin perfect body. i get weak just thinking about it, i remember gasping when i saw him shirtless. hes so hot. im so superficial. he'd never like me, hes so hot and im so... not. i cant do anything right lately. i cant even do a freakin roundoff right. and my jumps suck. school is gonna start way too soon. FUCK I HAFTA DO ALL MY DAMN SUMMER ASSIGNMENTS. i need to become a good christian somehow. but i think the puritans were right, and i'm predestined to be dammned. shit, a real christian wouldnt think like that. im doomed.